A Manhattan Misfit's Guide to Suburban Survival Ever wondered what would happen if you threw away a perfectly good corporate career to do something you know absolutely nothing about? Meet Michael Francis, who did exactly that when he traded his New York City suit for a pair of gardening gloves and headed to the wilds of Greenwich, Connecticut. In this hilarious chronicle of suburban misadventure, Michael navigates the treacherous territory of America's most manicured lawns with all the expertise of a penguin in the Sahara. From his first encounter with a rogue weed whacker to diplomatic negotiations with Nasty Mrs. Phillips (think the Queen of England, but with stronger opinions about hydrangeas), each chapter brings a new lesson in how not to be a gardener. With the sharp eye of a newcomer and the wit of a natural storyteller, Michael introduces us to a cast of unforgettable characters: Mad Annie Marsh, whose garden harbors more secrets than the Pentagon; the mysterious Trash Monster; and a host of other suburban personalities that could only exist in the perfectly imperfect world of high-end landscaping. For readers who cherished Bill Bryson's bemused adventures in A Walk in the Woods or Peter Mayle's A Year in Provence, Yards and Stripes offers a fresh, fertilizer-scented take on the classic fish-out-of-water tale. It's proof that sometimes the best stories grow from the most unlikely soil. Warning: This book contains scenes of deliberate plant murder, accidental tool mastery, and the shocking revelation that not all weeds wear villain costumes.