This is a Zen guide to the principles of compassionate communication. Communication is among the most common yet difficult challenges humans face. Effective communication is rarely a simple give-and-take of information because of interference from individual egos, whereby input is taken personally, judged, and reacted against. This book can be read

This is not just another book about communication.

Every person in conversation with another human being has a plus-one. Communication difficulties ("I wish I had said...", "I wish I hadn't said...", "Why is she...", "How can he...") arise from not realizing that our plus-one does most of the talking and thinking for us, making many of our interactions frustrating, dissatisfying, confusing, painful, and upsetting.

Who is this unnoticed intruder?

Through exchanges between dozens of people from all walks of life, Zen teachers Cheri Huber and Ashwini Narayanan unmask the mysterious plus-one. From painful interactions between intimate partners to dealing with uncomfortable silences, this book addresses the misery we often experience in communication and offers simple tools for ending suffering.

Written in the style of an advice column where readers send in their communication troubles for guidance, this book offers practical ways to deal with issues that arise around day-to-day communications.

Whether it's a personal problem with communication (I'm shy, I talk too much, I'm not clear when I communicate, I tend to say the wrong things, I hate silences) or communication difficulties with another (boss, partner, parent, close friend, store clerk), this book breaks down the process of interference from the plus-one and offers methods to restore connection in a humorous and compassionate way.